His Last Breath
Living a life with something important that’s part of your everyday life is indeed fulfilling without thinking that that something will never leave you. It is more fulfilling if that something is a person who is very important in to you. A person, who shared his blood with you, shared the air that you breathe. A person who first taught you to be a good son, to respect women the same way you respect your mother. But what if that person left you to soon even before you can show to him that you loved him so dearly and that you appreciate him as your father?
My Dad passed away last June 2004; he was murdered by a suspect that no law of man can kill, “Cancer”. He was diagnosed of colon cancer late year 2003 and was confined in the hospital for more than 2 months last 2004. Series of tests and preparation was done for his operation but his body disagreed. He went home. After more or less than a month at home, he passed away. It was around 8 in the morning when I heard my mom cried his name. I saw my mom holding my Dad’s hand while praying. I am not sure if I am lucky or not to see how he gasped for his last breath. He’s gone.
That was the most sorrowful morning of my life. Waking up means new beginning, but on that day I woke up to witness how my Dad’s life ended. I did not cry but I was stunned. I knew that day was coming but not very soon. In a span of less than a year after he was diagnosed, cancer did all it can to murder my Dad.
I regret all the things that I have not done for him. There are still lots of “what ifs” going on in my mind up to this day. But one thing that I am proud of was to talk to him 6 hours before he died. That talk was very heart-breaking, emotional and painful. I did not know that it will be our last conversation but it seemed like it was a “reassurance-everything-is-okay talk”. And it turned out to be a “Letting Go”.
Today was supposed to be his 62nd Birthday; he stopped aging when he was 55 years old.
In Memoriam – Nicolas C. De Vera | October 12, 1948 – June 4, 2004
•NJayMaldito• 10122010 •
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