Conyo Speak per University

Suicidal Sandwich

There were three friends: an Atenean, a La Sallite, and a UP student (so you know this story is fictional). Anyway, everyday, they met for lunch and ate their sandwiches.

UP: Putek!!! Peanut-butter sandwich na naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag bukas, peanut butter sandwich na naman ang baon ko, magpapatiwakal na ako.

Ateneo: Darn!!! Roast beef sandwich again? I’m sick of this already. If I get another roast beef sandwich again tomorrow, I’m gonna shoot myself.

La Salle: Oh my gosh, grabe!!! Ham sandwich is my baon again. I’m so sawa with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon tomorrow is ham sandwich again, I’m gonna drive my CRV over the cliff.

The next morning, they again met for lunch, and, alas, they had the same sandwiches again.

The UP student went back to his dorm, pulled out a belt, and choked himself to death.

The Atenean went home, got a gun, and shot himself in the head.

The La Sallite drove his CRV off a cliff.

During their funeral, their mothers were interviewed:

UP: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya na nang peanut butter sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung pinabaon ko sa kanya.

Ateneo: If he had told me that he didn’t want roast beef anymore, I wouldn’t have given him roast beef.

La Salle: Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili niyang sandwich.


Reaction to a Beautiful Woman

UP: Uy, ang ganda.

Ateneo: Wow, headturner.

La Salle: Hey, she’s got the look.

AMA: Miss, pa-autograph.


Reaction to a Prostitute

Atenean: Whoa, look, there’s a prostitute!!!

UP Student: Uy, kalapating mababa ang lipad!!!

AMA Student: Oi, classmate!!!


Favorite Looney Tunes Character

UP: Bugs Bunny

Ateneo: Daffy Duck

La Salle: Elmer Fudd

AMA: Marvin…. and Jolina


Students in vehicles:

Ateneo: Get out of the f@#%$ng way!
La Salle: Oh My… can you move it please, I’m late na eh.
UST: Mama bayad oh….
UP: Sa kabila lang po ha, bawal magbaba dyan.


One thought on “Conyo Speak per University

  1. cool post…i stopped reading all those university jokes since i graduated from college…well good thing, the post reminded me of my college years in a not so popular university…

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